Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
