the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
