We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
