Me. At least after what I've been through.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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