You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
