Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
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