tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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