just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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