So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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