Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
