Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
