dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
