I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
