remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
