I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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