Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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