I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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