i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
