it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
