Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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