I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he was CRYING into my vagina
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
