Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
