It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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