went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
