I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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