i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
