i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
