Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
