never play flip cup with pint glasses
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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