Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize