Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
