i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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