just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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