I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Randomize
