I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
