Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
