i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
