Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Help. Why am I so naked?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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