So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
