I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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