Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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