So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
