you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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