So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
