Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
