We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
