It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
