you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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