So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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