It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
