were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize