After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
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