I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
