I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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