First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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