You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
