Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
