I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
