After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize