I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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