so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Randomize
